You Don’t Have To Agree On Everything in Marriage

I used to think that the capacity for communication is the most important factor to a happy marriage. However, good communication can’t compensate for lack of common values. You two don’t have to agree on everything, but you must have similar priorities in life. For example, good communication skills are not enough to bridge the gap of differences about child-rearing. A couple can’t really compromise on whether honesty, hard work and having a spiritual life are important.

If the differences are severe, it can be a real challenge to the couple’s commitment, since it’s hard to respect a person whose life assumptions are profoundly different from your own. So, when you choose your spouse, pay attention to what you do share in common and what originally attracted you to each other. Sometimes one partner has new experiences not shared by the other, and it’s not so much a difference of values as an absence of common experience.