By Sheri & Bob Stritof
The Sad News
The sad news is that there has been a steady increase in the number of divorces among couples married 30 or more years. Many long-term married couples divorce one another after the kids leave home.
They realize too late that their children kept them together. Other couples divorce during the empty nest years because they can't handle the health issues and the sense of an uncertain future along with being overwhelmed by too much togetherness.
The Good News
The good news is that with good communication and preparation for this phase of your marriage, the empty nest years can be tremendously enjoyable and full of new beginnings.
So now that the kids have left home, what comes next?
After the kids have left home, you will notice some changes in your home and lives. Some are great, some are sad. Being aware of what's different and how those makes you feel is an important step in avoiding the negative aspects of the empty nest syndrome.
Share your feelings and awarenesses with one another.
- You may feel a sense of emptiness and loneliness.
- You are delighted to see emails from your kids or have them call you.
- Your grocery bills are lower.
- Abandoned pets need feeding.
- There's food in the refrigerator.
- The house stays clean.
- You look forward to receiving pictures from the kids.
- You only have to wash clothes and towels once a week.
- Your calendar is often just as busy as it ever was, but it is filled with fun things to do with one another.
- Your home is quiet.
- There's hot water when you want it.
- The phone rings less.
- Your water bill takes a dive.
- You can use the computer whenever you want.
- Your attic is full of boxes of the kids' mementoes and belongings they need stored for awhile.
- You may keep some of your kids' favorite stuffed animals or toys where you can see them.
- You notice that when the kids visit, you have to pick up the pace of your life again during their stay.
- You can make love on the living room sofa in the middle of the day.
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